I am not stubborn, or am I?

Don't answer that question yet…

Thanksgiving night I was playing a game of Catch Phrase with my family. My sister had gotten the word “stubborn” and used me as part of her description for the word. “Jennifer is this…<big grin>”…. WHAT!? This coming from the self-proclaimed “princess” in the family? OH Yes, she did!

I was a little hurt. Sure, I'm bossy. I'm overly analytical. I'm also willing to admit that I'm particular about a lot of things. However, stubborn I am not. I not only budge, I bend probably more often than some may realize.

Stubborn as Defined by dictionary.com:

1. Having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, esp. in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

2. Difficult to move, remove, or cure.

That is not me. I can be moved, removed and hopefully cured. Sure I have dogged determination, however, if someone else has good arguments or reasons for me to change my attitude or position I am willing to do so. If someone is respecting my perspective and sharing their contrary views, I'll listen with an open mind. That's the key with me though… there has to be good arguments or reasons… and usually when viewing whatever it is from a logical or time management position. If you want me to view something differently, or better yet, agree with you… you need to be able to give me a reason why other than “cuz” or you should be able to prove that your view is smarter when dealing with time or money… yet doesn't forget the important pieces I'm considering in my decision. All of this keeping in mind that I'm usually thinking of at least 4 other people and their involvement at the same time. It's usually not about me – there's almost always others I'm thinking of first when I'm calling the shots – it might just be “you” aren't one of the “others” I'm thinking of first.

The definition of Stubborn according to merriam-webster.com:

a (1) : unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish (2) : justifiably unyielding : resolute b : suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature.

I'm going to go as far to say I am perversely unyielding in the fact that I won't agree that I'm stubborn. I have a strong nature, but not a stubborn one.

I'm a bit defensive about this, I agree, but not because I'm in denial. I think of stubborn as self centered, pigheaded and inconsiderate. All of which I am far from. I usually want things “my way” not because I need them that way for me, but because I'm a micro manager personality and I need to be able to know whats up from all angles. Unless you can give me a perspective of all angles OR I am confident you are going to handle you portions, I need it done my way. That's hardly from stubborn.

So now that I'm finished standing my ground – feel free to see if you can persuade me into agreeing.

Some more insight views of why one might think I'm stubborn:

I'm a perfectionist – Ya gotta do it right the first time, or don't bother doing it.

I'm selective and particular – when it comes to time and money, I like to spend mine very carefully… especially time.

I'm demanding – why settle for mediocre if you are capable of great?

I'm determined – you can't go very far with wishy-washy.

I'm protective – my kids come first, and if you don't stand up for yourself who else is going to?

I'm impatient – I need to work on this. I'm so busy trying to keep up with myself, I don't always allow the time for others to try to get involved.

I'm uptight – I'm constantly trying to make sure things are going right because I'm constantly worried I'm making someone made or someone doesn't like something I've done. It goes back to my being a perfectionist… I'm constantly trying to figure out how to make sure everyone is happy.

I'm an over thinker – I look at everything from 360 degrees, twice. This is a great attribute to have if you want to make a living as a sculptor… anything else and it can become bothersome and even a hindrance in progress.

I'm overly sensitive, maybe even paranoid – again always worried what others think so I'm always trying to make sure everything is just so.

I'm an Aries, in the Chinese zodiac I'm a rat and in numerology, I'm a 1. If you believe in any of these view points, that makes me born bossy, leadership-like, and everything else mentioned above. I don't like all of it and I can try to fight my own make up… but in the end, I am who I am, and as I get older I'm learning to be proud of whatever that is (that's the hardest part).

Looking at the list after writing down my thoughts, I think all those strong determined personality traits are why I've been able to be successfully self employed for so long. You have to be able to take a punch and still smile yet stand up for yourself when you need to if you're going to survive in the world of business owners.

There are a lot of things I am.. some better than others, but stubborn I am not.